In sixth grade, after my last final of the year, a boy named Reese licked my glasses. Reese approached right before class ended. He told me that my glasses looked cool and he wanted to try them on. So I took them off and placed them on the desk that separated us.
Reese picked them up, inspected the purple plastic frame work and, with smiling lips, licked the front left lens from top to the bottom. I watched his tongue slug against the glass. Then he extended the glasses out to me as a gesture of friendship.
Oh, the horror. But despite this brief episode there are benefits to wearing glasses. They usually don’t encourage strange social interactions (I think it was a hate crime) however glasses are significantly underrated.
For example, glasses make your eyes look bigger. Instead of minimizing the area of your eyeball, they actually increase the size of your iris due to some cool refraction of light. I don’t know if this has been scientifically proven, but I’m sure there is evidence out there somewhere.
Glasses express style. There are millions of frames that exist for you to try out on your face. Industries consist of manufacturing, selling, and marketing attractive eyewear. Frames can be made of wood, wire, plastic and other forms of recycled materials. Glasses are, in essence, an extension of your face.
You are recognizable based on physical attributes, and by wearing glasses which sit comfortably on your nose, your face is therefore merged with a piece of eye jewelry. The style of the glasses can then be indicators of your personality. And they fundamentally change your profile.
For example, the character Carl Fredricksen from the movie “Up” wore black, square glasses. His square glasses matched his square face and his square personality. So, to those of you who preference certain geometric shapes over others, be careful. You, too, can embody a square.
Glasses are also safety devices that should be worn frequently and with great care.
Glasses protect your eyes from kamikaze insects, raindrops and excessive pollen.
They have shielded me from the dangers of the world””although losing your glasses in dark areas is kind of a nightmare.
Every time I misplace my glasses after I have turned off the lights it’s like the world’s hardest version of hide-and-seek.
I completely understand if you prefer contacts. However contacts do require significantly more maintenance.
With glasses, you can avoid holding your eyes open like an owl to put the lenses in or having to refill solution so it doesn’t resemble eye sewage.
I actually had a significant ordeal with putting in my contacts.
Many tears were shed, not purposefully, but for some reason I always missed my eye when trying to throttle the lens into it. It landed on my upper cheekbone, or bottom lash line. It was all trial and error. But mostly error.
Most importantly, though, glasses allow you to see. If you are not genetically dominant and were not graced with perfect vision, like myself, glasses are super lovely inventions. They make life less foggy and more visible.
Opinion Columnist | Class of 2017 | Majors: Art and Communication