Trinity, thanks for giving me some great friends, and an awesome education, but don’t expect much more thanks than that ““ I mean I’ve given you plenty of “thanks” (you and I both know how large my student debt is). Instead of thanking you, Trinity, by spouting on about how great I’ve become because of you, I’m going to take this opportunity to give a shout-out to the people (and whatever else) that has made me happy over these past four years.
First and foremost I’ll have to thank you, Mary Catharine Bailey, Ms. Editor-in-Chief, for standing by me these four years and helping me, in every conceivable way, deal with the stresses of classes and friends among the other woes of Triniland. Honestly, if it weren’t for you, I don’t think I would have ever studied in London. More importantly, if I didn’t have you to be there for me, I don’t know if I would still be here. Thank you. I love you, babe. I suppose number two on this list of shout-outs has to be to B-Dawg, Bethany Jill Dawson. It’s because of you (and Paola) that I survived two and a half years of pre-med life. Subsequently, it is also because of you I have lost about 10 years off of my lifespan. Honestly, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have regained my enthusiasm for running. Truly.
Sorry, not sorry you’re third, Nick-Knack. It was love at first-year seminar ““ after awkwardly ignoring each other’s existence for a semester, naturally. Thanks for being a great friend, and the best roommate. I mean, who else would watch hours and hours of Food Network with me, or projectile-vomit all over the place and still have the energy to pillow-talk into the wee hours of the morning?! Clearly, it was destined to be.
Whit-dizzle, my fellow wine-o, I’m so glad I saved your life that one time, because it’s been great having a partner in wine and a lib buddy. I don’t think I would have been half as productive this year without you to suffer alongside me in club lib. Of course I didn’t forget you, Gustopher Wilson, so thanks for being as obsessed with “30 Rock”/Tina Fey/Liz Lemon as I am. I’m glad that you’ve come to realize your bitter side because of me. And Becca, don’t steal my girlfriend, it’s not cool. Also, thanks for feeding the cats so I don’t have to.
Finally, I love you, Triniland. Actually, not really, I just love you for giving me a late-night Taco C addiction, for allowing me to hone my BSing skillz, for pushing me to finally test how long it really is I can go without sleeping (three nights) and for shielding me from that scary place out there, full-fledged “adulthood.” Smell ya later, Trinity. It’s been real.
Ryan Townsley is a copy editor for the Trinitonian and is graduating with a degree in English.
Guest columns should be arranged with managing editor Megan Julian (email@example.com) at least one week prior to publication.