Welcome to Trinity, Class of 2016.
Now that we have the obligatory and kind welcome behind us, let me start out by saying that I don’t like you already. What the what?! Haha lolzies, I’m just kidding, but I cannot help but feel a little jealous of you all. It isn’t anything personal especially since we hardly know each other, but it is something that will be between us. Now I suppose you want to know why I have lumped you all together in a metaphorical pile, and I am happy to tell you:
- You guys keep getting younger while we keep getting older. Sure, I could shave my beard and look like a young, bright individual ready to conquer the world, but that is a lot of effort. So I’ll wait for you guys to catch up. Plus, they’ll start carding me more!.
- Your parents miss you and send you care packages. I’m lucky if my parents let me come home for Christmas…
- Everyone helps you move in. Try moving in during August when it is 100 degrees. in an outdoor residence hall…up three flights of stairs…by yourself.
- All the opportunities are in front of you. #YOTO (You Only Trinity Once…get it?)
- You guys smell weird…nah, I’m just kidding. A gentle reminder though – wear deodorant especially in the hot months. You aren’t in Kansas anymore, first years.
- You will get to see the end of all this construction. All jokes aside, most of us are actually envious of this…so if you wanna trade places, let an upperclassman know.
- Your metabolism works far faster and more efficiently than mine. So you know what, take some advice from me and make that dessert station your new best friend. If anyone tells you to put the warm, fresh-baked cookies back, ignore them and keep eating.
So now you know where I am coming from. It isn’t anything that you can control, just like I can’t control being so popular.
In all seriousness, we are extremely happy that you’re here and we are ready to help you start your Trinity career. This is my third year as a resident mentor which means I’ve seen a lot. Myth: resident mentors are like police dogs always sniffing out for contraband. Fact: resident mentors are here to help facilitate your transition from high school and home to college. Don’t hesitate to use them as a resource (and try to be nice to them. They work really hard and they only get a Megabed out of it)!
Last, but not least … Bring. It. On 2016.
James Jarrot is a senior resident mentor majoring in communication.
Guest columns should be arranged with managing editor Megan Julian (firstname.lastname@example.org) at least one week prior to publication.