DeclassifiedDeclassified: Love Island? or Trinity?

Relationship advice for incoming first-years
Kathleen CreedonAugust 16, 2019131 min
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I like to think of Trinity’s dating scene as a really bad season of Love Island. Sure, there’s no witty commentary, but there are weird love triangles, inescapable exes and no such thing as secrets. Maybe I’m being pessimistic about it, but surely the dating experience for Trinity students has been relatively the same for everyone. You either date someone your first-year roommate’s best friend dated or you’re engaged to your college sweetheart within two years.

It makes sense. You know, there are only so many of us. 640 or so per class, with minimal transfer students. When you eliminate options depending on your sexual orientation, depending on who your best friends have dated and depending on lack of compatibility, you’re left with, like, 10 people. And that’s a generous estimate.

By the end of your sophomore year, you’ve probably dodged the Esplanade in fear of running into someone you slept with that one time, and you’re probably tired of swiping left and right because options are running out. I have no advice to give, only warnings.

WARNING 1
Before you kiss a cutie at a party, ask yourself, “Are they in my 9:30? Am I going to have to see them three times a week? Will my professor notice that I moved seats?”

WARNING 2
Keep in mind that if you hook up with two or more people from a specific Greek organization, sports team or other social club, you’ll be forever associated with that group. Not a bad thing, but beware.

WARNING 3
Downloading Tinder (or similar apps) is a good way to resolve boredom and to feel like you’re escpaing the Trinity Bubble. That is, until you realize 70 percent of your options are fellow Trinity Tigers and the other 30 percent are in the military and/or are looking for a unicorn.

WARNING 4
There’s nothing anyone can ever tell you that will prepare you for your dating experience at Trinity. Best of luck.

 

Kathleen Creedon

| Class of 2020 | Major: English

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