Let’s be honest: dorms are the worst places to study. But with finals rapidly approaching and sleep rapidly decreasing, we college students need our sheep-counting time more than ever “” it’s a Catch-22 (for those of you that aren’t English majors, a Catch-22 is a game in which you try to catch 22 hours of sleep over two weeks of finals).
So how can you keep up with your studies without losing precious time sleeping in your knowledge-sucking dorm bed? Whether your roommate is aerating the room with Mabee gas or you are locked in an academic building, it is important to know alternate places to sleep on campus.
The Basement of CSI
This spot gets taken quickly, so you have to be ready to act as soon as you need some shut-eye. If you are studying in CSI, sneak down to the basement and head down the creepy hallway where the strange mechanical noises come from. After walking for an eternity and a half, you will find a unisex bathroom. Sleep in it.
Pros: Private, secluded, includes bathroom and (emergency chemical) shower
Cons: Is a bathroom
Dicke-Smith Art Building
Before choosing this spot, be warned: you will need a friend who is enrolled in a music class. More accurately, you will need their Tiger Card access to the private music practice rooms. After you recite the ritual incantation to keep the cursed pianos from feeding on your soul (they think non-music majors are delicious), put on your nightcap and take a ride to slumberland!
Pros: Has insulation, individual thermostats, semi-soundproofing and soft carpet.
Cons: The walls and windowed doors make it look like you are in an insane asylum, and if you leave the door open, a horrible, wailing alarm sounds.
If there’s one thing that Trinity does very well, it’s public relations. During both of the tours I took of Trinity, the guides steered far away from upperclassmen campus, for a very good reason: for the most part, the freshman dorms are better than the sophomore and upperclassmen dorms. Keep this in mind when searching for places to sleep. If you have a scarily unshaved beard or your body odor clears a 15 foot radius around you, consider crashing in the Calvert or Witt-Winn dorm lounges. Your personal scariness will drive people away, and the lounges have nice couches to sleep on.
Pros: A couch is almost a bed, and the Miller public bathroom is just a short walk away.
Cons: People will probably throw things at you.
Places to Avoid:
Yes, the obvious thing to do would be to check out a study room and just collapse in there. But not only are these rooms in very short supply come finals season, students are so desperate for places to study that they will break down the door violently if you overstay your 2-hour welcome. As for the rest of the Coates Library, the constant surveillance from hidden security cameras and experimental fear gas periodically pumped through the vents makes this a real no-no for slumber.
Your RA/RM/HM’s Room
Are you kidding me?
In conclusion, life is hard, and finding a place to sleep is harder. But with these tips and a healthy competitive spirit, you should be able to find unoccupied snore spots, or at least kick out the unlucky sucker sleeping there. Happy Finals!