Let’s get one thing straight: anyone who says they don’t follow pop culture drama is lying. I don’t care if you wouldn’t be caught dead in the same room as a rerun of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” or have never opened People magazine in your life — it is a universal constant that, deep down, everyone secretly loves a bit of drama, and our favorite stars are the perfect medium for satisfying this guilty pleasure. There’s nothing like a good celebrity feud to make you feel justified in your own boring life. Sure, they may be rich and famous, but at least they still say embarrassing things in public for you to laugh at while you accumulate student debt! In honor of the latest and greatest, here are some of the most iconic celebrity smackdowns ever to bless our lives.
Taylor Swift vs. Kanye West
Very few celebrity feuds have sparked public outrage like this one. If you live under a rock, here’s a recap: the year is 2009; the stage is the MTV Music Awards. Taylor Swift had yet to go through her bad girl transformation, and was still the adorable country underdog of the industry. Just as she’s about to accept her award for best music video, Kanye interrupts and reminds the world that Beyoncé had one of the best music videos of all time. As a result, millions of Americans went and got their ears checked because what happened was so rude that we couldn’t believe we’d actually heard it. While at the time the interruption felt obscene, in retrospect T-Swizzle probably should have thanked him, as after the incident she immediately became a household name. Of course, a few haters who hate hate hate rushed to Kanye’s defense and agreed that Beyoncé did have the better video. My response is, “Duh.” No one does anything better than Beyoncé. If we only gave awards to people better than Beyoncé, no one but Beyonce would have awards.
Miley Cyrus vs. Nicki Minaj
You already know. While this one just happened a couple of weeks ago, it’s already become an iconic moment of the 2010s. There’s no need to recap this event, as Cyrus’ shocked face is still fresh in the mind of anyone who watched the 2015 VMAs. While Cyrus stuttered through a sloppy response to Minaj’s worldwide confrontation, it was clear that in her mind, all she was seeing was a long white tunnel with the death of her career at the end. The best part of it all? The thousands of comments on Cyrus’ instagram feed afterward, all saying those three little words. MILEY, WHAT’S GOOD?!
Taylor Swift vs. Joe Jonas
A short year before the Kanye incident, Ms. Swift had another celebrity fallout, this one concerning matters of the heart. While Teezy Sweezy has always been notorious for writing songs about her breakups, Joe Jonas was actually the first celebrity boyfriend who made his way onto one of her albums in song form. When interviewed about the breakup, T-Swiz remarked, “When I find that person that is right for me and he’ll be wonderful and I’ll look at that person,I’m not even gonna be able to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 25 seconds when I was 18.” Hey girl, burning your ex on television sounds like the ideal breakup to me. It’s okay Tay. He was the least hot Jonas brother anyway.
Britney Spears vs. The World
2007 was a time of angst for many. I channeled this frustration into fringe bangs. Britney Spears took it a step farther by shaving her entire head. (Looking back at the photos of myself from this “emo” phase, it would have been an improvement if I had done the same.) In an attempt to turn over a new leaf, the shaving took place only a few hours after Spears had exited a drug rehab facility, when the barber of the shop refused to help the fallen star. It must have done the trick. A few months later, her divorce was finalized and Spears began her slow climb back to the top, becoming the highest- paid female musician of 2012. Who needs hair when you have that honor?