Spring semester is here and in full swing, and every seasoned Trinity student knows what that means: It’s time to quit fooling around. Just kidding! Everyone knows that the amount of work to be done for a class has an inverse relationship with how wisely a student spends their time. However, if you procrastinate wisely, it’s possible to stay ahead. It is a truth universally acknowledged that not all forms of procrastination were created equally. That’s fine: balance your procrastination correctly and there will be nothing to worry about!
DO: stream every episode of House and Grey’s Anatomy.
Binge watching a TV show is the #1 way students avoid responsibility — but watching shows with a medical theme transfers so much information while just relaxing. Technically, a marathon of these shows can be considered study material for an anatomy class. One can only hope that the information in them is accurate.
DON’T: Waste hours surfing through Instagram or Facebook.
You don’t care about that kid that you sat next to in 7th grade pre-calc, I promise. It only takes one quick glance at his profile to confirm that he 1) failed college and 2) is now racist, while you on the other hand “glo’d up.” Any time stalking him besides that is just dwelling in the past, which means dwelling on high school. Ew! Avoid, avoid, avoid.
DO: Delete irrelevant people from your friends list.
Even though it can take a while to go through your entire friends list, getting rid of people you don’t care about helps you scan your news feed much faster later on. You know what they say: waste 3 hours right now, save yourself time in the future (probably.)
DO: Clean your room.
A cluttered room is a cluttered mind and with all the stuff you have to remember for your classes, your mind is messy enough. You don’t have to live in a trash heap on top of it.
DON’T: Go get fast food.
You’re trying to get rid of trash, not start a collection of Whataburger french fry boxes to build a home out of after college. If you save money on going out and study instead of spending time on getting snacks, maybe you’ll actually be successful enough to get a real house!
DO: Call your mom.
You’ll kill at least an hour that could be spent productively. Plus, she’ll be so excited to hear from you that she won’t even complain that you’re wasting time you could be studying for classes that she’s paying for. And she might send you money. Woo-hoo!
DON’T: Call your dad.
He’s not really a talker. This isn’t a very time-consuming option, and he’ll get on your case for all the stuff mom won’t. Just text him next time you need something, preferably using less than two words. Save time where you can.
DO: Answer all your emails.
Homework time is the only time the Leeroy will ever be remotely interesting, but you’ll be well-informed about campus happenings and can give yourself a pat on the back for being involved. You go Glen Coco!
DON’T: Look at your bank account.
You’ll be too depressed to go on.