2008 Woodie Awards
'Smokebomb' providesescape from awkwardness
Simran Singh
Issue date: 4/7/06 Section: Opinion
I feel like the word awkward is one of the most awkward words ever. Where else can you find a "k" sandwiched by two "w's?" wkw. It's like a letter palindrome (same forwards and backwards). Which is awkward in itself.
And let's not forget that "word awkward" is a syllabic palindrome in sound. word-awk-word. Not that you can forget something you never knew in the first place.
But anyway, what about my nickname for the most awkward person you've (n)ever met - Dr. Awkward (note the palindrome).
I'm serious though. I'm pretty awkward. So awkward in fact that I've turned it into an art. Por ejemplo.
You know that guy who never talks to you in real life but writes on your Facebook wall once a week? That's me.
And the guy who you sit next to in class but never officially met so you can never talk even though you technically know each other? That's me, too.
And what about the guy who publicly flosses his teeth with his moustache? OK, that was a joke, but now you're going to think I'm awkward and gross.
But I swear I'm not gross. Just awkward. Like when I snuck the same April Fools' column I wrote for last year into last week's Trinitonian, and my editors didn't even notice. That got awkward fast when I found out my editors don't even read what I write.
And being my awkward self, I made them feel so awkward that I know they would feel like they had to read what I wrote for today.
And, knowing they would read it due to awkwardness, I decided to further akwardify the situation by writing about how awkward it was.
They call me Dr. Awkward for a reason.
In fact, I'm so awkward that Becca Clark (aka Spurs MVP) taught me the awkward turtle … which was awkward considering that I don't even know what it really means or anything.
I actually began to get a little bit worried about my awkwardness at that point because everyone knows girls don't go for awkward. But when I told Kevin Eaton and Bene Petty about it, they taught me the best answer to awkwardness that I've ever encountered. The smokebomb.
And let's not forget that "word awkward" is a syllabic palindrome in sound. word-awk-word. Not that you can forget something you never knew in the first place.
But anyway, what about my nickname for the most awkward person you've (n)ever met - Dr. Awkward (note the palindrome).
I'm serious though. I'm pretty awkward. So awkward in fact that I've turned it into an art. Por ejemplo.
You know that guy who never talks to you in real life but writes on your Facebook wall once a week? That's me.
And the guy who you sit next to in class but never officially met so you can never talk even though you technically know each other? That's me, too.
And what about the guy who publicly flosses his teeth with his moustache? OK, that was a joke, but now you're going to think I'm awkward and gross.
But I swear I'm not gross. Just awkward. Like when I snuck the same April Fools' column I wrote for last year into last week's Trinitonian, and my editors didn't even notice. That got awkward fast when I found out my editors don't even read what I write.
And being my awkward self, I made them feel so awkward that I know they would feel like they had to read what I wrote for today.
And, knowing they would read it due to awkwardness, I decided to further akwardify the situation by writing about how awkward it was.
They call me Dr. Awkward for a reason.
In fact, I'm so awkward that Becca Clark (aka Spurs MVP) taught me the awkward turtle … which was awkward considering that I don't even know what it really means or anything.
I actually began to get a little bit worried about my awkwardness at that point because everyone knows girls don't go for awkward. But when I told Kevin Eaton and Bene Petty about it, they taught me the best answer to awkwardness that I've ever encountered. The smokebomb.