2008 Woodie Awards
American stumbles over language barrier
A DUDE ABROAD
Vincent Goodwin
Issue date: 3/24/06 Section: Opinion
- Page 1 of 1
When I originally decided to study abroad this semester, the question most people asked of me was, "Why London?"
Quite simply, because I know the language. That's really it. I'm sure they wanted to hear something about the culture or some other Britain-centric nonsense, and that's why I opted to go to London. But no, I've just had bad experiences with foreign countries where I don't know the language.
I was browsing in the "damska" aka "sweater" section at a Prague store once, and I had found some really cool stuff. But, I was getting some strange looks from the people in the store, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. Apparently, "damska" does not mean sweater; it means "women's clothing." "Panska" is for men. Damska and panska are also coincidentally the only two words I know in Czech.
I didn't want to make a similar mistake, and that's why I picked London.
Oh, how wrong I was. Just because supposedly both America and Britain speak English does not mean that they speak the same language; there are quite a few vocabulary differences. Of course, there are the obvious things like elevators are "lifts" and cell phones are "mobiles." And "biscuits" are both crackers and cookies. But what's a biscuit called? I don't know!
But guidebooks neglect some of the other differences. "Cheers" is the ultimate British word. Like "aloha," it means "hello" and "goodbye," as well as "thank you."
And in London, they don't use fanny packs: They use "bum bags." Same thing, different name. Not fanny packs because "fanny," well, it refers to a woman's nether regions. The Bermuda Triangle, if you will. "Damska/panska" all over again.
I was talking to a bartender a few nights ago, and I made some flippant remark about something I saw on the 'Net, and she stared at me, dumbfounded. I've gotten that look from the ladies before, so I asked what I needed to clarify, and she just said, "Net?"
I was like, "Yeah, the Internet."
And a lightbulb popped up in her head, "Ohhhhh!!! The Intertron! What is it that you call it again?"
"The Internet," I quietly responded.
"The Internet?" she said. "That's so weird."
Because part of this adventure is to assimilate myself into British culture, or at least that's what my buddy Nancy Ericksen says, I started inserting the word "Intertron" into my lexicon. "I was reading the other day on the Intertron …" or "Just e-mail me on the 'Tron," and so on, I would say. And I got the strangest looks. Maybe it was my American accent saying Intertron that was throwing them off? Like how you can't say "loo" (toilet) without faking a British accent?
No. There's just no such thing as the Intertron. It's the Internet, just like in America. This bartender was just messing with the stupid American. I should have known better; beautiful women have always played mind games with me, and I'm just too dumb to learn my lesson.
Quite simply, because I know the language. That's really it. I'm sure they wanted to hear something about the culture or some other Britain-centric nonsense, and that's why I opted to go to London. But no, I've just had bad experiences with foreign countries where I don't know the language.
I was browsing in the "damska" aka "sweater" section at a Prague store once, and I had found some really cool stuff. But, I was getting some strange looks from the people in the store, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. Apparently, "damska" does not mean sweater; it means "women's clothing." "Panska" is for men. Damska and panska are also coincidentally the only two words I know in Czech.
I didn't want to make a similar mistake, and that's why I picked London.
Oh, how wrong I was. Just because supposedly both America and Britain speak English does not mean that they speak the same language; there are quite a few vocabulary differences. Of course, there are the obvious things like elevators are "lifts" and cell phones are "mobiles." And "biscuits" are both crackers and cookies. But what's a biscuit called? I don't know!
But guidebooks neglect some of the other differences. "Cheers" is the ultimate British word. Like "aloha," it means "hello" and "goodbye," as well as "thank you."
And in London, they don't use fanny packs: They use "bum bags." Same thing, different name. Not fanny packs because "fanny," well, it refers to a woman's nether regions. The Bermuda Triangle, if you will. "Damska/panska" all over again.
I was talking to a bartender a few nights ago, and I made some flippant remark about something I saw on the 'Net, and she stared at me, dumbfounded. I've gotten that look from the ladies before, so I asked what I needed to clarify, and she just said, "Net?"
I was like, "Yeah, the Internet."
And a lightbulb popped up in her head, "Ohhhhh!!! The Intertron! What is it that you call it again?"
"The Internet," I quietly responded.
"The Internet?" she said. "That's so weird."
Because part of this adventure is to assimilate myself into British culture, or at least that's what my buddy Nancy Ericksen says, I started inserting the word "Intertron" into my lexicon. "I was reading the other day on the Intertron …" or "Just e-mail me on the 'Tron," and so on, I would say. And I got the strangest looks. Maybe it was my American accent saying Intertron that was throwing them off? Like how you can't say "loo" (toilet) without faking a British accent?
No. There's just no such thing as the Intertron. It's the Internet, just like in America. This bartender was just messing with the stupid American. I should have known better; beautiful women have always played mind games with me, and I'm just too dumb to learn my lesson.